Thursday, March 29, 2012

His Miraculous and Matchless Power

It is always a risk sharing things that are so personal and close to my heart. I risk the criticism and cynicism of others. The reason I'm willing to take that risk is my hope that it will help someone struggling or suffering, who is seeking help to overcome.
I believe that God allows each of us to struggle with the sort of trial we cannot overcome without Him. It may sound silly to some, but that's the sort of trial this sugar-addiction has been for me. It is real. It is painful. It has kept me from being the person God expects me to become.
This trial has, on more than 1 occasion, dropped me to my knees, in which I have had to humbly seek the miraculous and matchless power of God and Christ. By so doing, I have been blessed to experience their miraculous and matchless power in my life, and their amazing love for me.
About a month ago I felt like I was drowning....again. Drowning in my addiction to sugar. Here's what I wrote in my journal on February 27, 2012:
I have been eating horribly for several weeks. Just before I began today's scripture study, I prayed for the desire to stop eating badly and do better, because I didn't want to give up my yummies.
As I began reading I opened up to Helaman 5, where I thought I'd left off, but my eyes drifted over to Helaman 4:25 (where I'd actually left off the day before). As I read, the words of God spoke loud and clear to me. I wrote the scripture down with personal pronouns to liken it unto myself:
"Therefore the Lord did cease to preserve [me] by his miraculous and matchless power, for [I have] fallen into a state of unbelief...and [I see] that the [hosts of Satan] are exceedingly more numerous than [me], and except I should cleave unto the Lord [my] God I must unavoidable perish.
"For behold [I see] that the strength of the [adversary] is as great [or greater] as [my] strength, even man for man. And thus [have I] fallen into this great transgression; yea thus [have I] become weak, because of my transgression, in the space of not many [days]."(the actual word there is "years.")
Whoa. As I've read these verses in the past, I have thought, "Man, those people were such idiots! How could they go from being so righteous and happy to ruining it all so quickly because of transgression?" But when I turn it around to myself, it isn't a matter of years before I fall into transgression--it's a matter of days; or sometimes it's a matter of moments!
I need to cleave unto the Lord and BELIEVE in His "miraculous and matchless power"! I need to let go of sugar and cleave to the Lord. I will give away all my sins (and addictions) to know Him. I will be such a better person and more profitable servant for doing that!
After writing, I knelt and prayed. Then I wrote again:
I just finished a very fervent, heartfelt, tearful prayer. I repented for being so piggy again. I begged for help. I acknowledged my weakness, but told God I know He has miraculous and matchless power to help me; that together with Him I can overcome Satan and all the temptations he sends. I asked that He help me BELIEVE in His miraculous and matchless power to deliver me; to help me rely on the power of Christ's atonement to change my very nature.
What I need to do: cleave unto Him in daily prayer and scripture study.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13) --even give up sugar!


It's been just over a month since that journal entry. I have not had any processed sugar (I do eat fruit) since that day. I am not going to act like I've got the addiction beat and that I have things all figured out. I've done that too many times.
As I read 3 Nephi 2:11-17, it occurred to me that constant battles keep us steadfast and humble. Because of our difficult situations, we must rely on the Lord for help to conquer our enemy (such as sugar addiction). When the battle seems to be won and we begin to think, "All is well," pride sets in and we do not turn to the Lord as we should. Then we stumble/fall again.
May I remember to always lean on the Lord and study His word daily, so that I am always prepared for battle and don't become prideful, thinking "I've got this."
"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7