Be of Good Cheer, and Do Not Fear...

"O wretched [woman] that I am! Yeah, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me." (2 Nephi 4:17-18)

That was how I felt for the past few days. Wretched indeed. Last night, however, I was blessed with a very uplifting experience. Here's what I wrote in my journal:

"For the things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul, others set at naught and trample under their feet. Yea, even the very God of Israel do men trample under their feet; I say trample under their feet but I would speak in other words--they set him at naught and hearken not to the voice of his counsels.
"And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men." (1 Nephi 19:7,9)

Tonight as we sat down to read the Book of Mormon as a family, all I could think about was getting done so I could sneak back in the kitchen and scarf another doughnut or two. We began on those verses I just wrote down. They spoke loud and clear to me.
I've been going about the past few days with reckless abandon, eating everything I felt like, times 3 or 4 or 5. Believe me, it wasn't carrots and celery sticks.
But these verses struck me. Have I been trampling the very God of Israel under my feet? Have I set Him at naught and hearkened not to the voice of His counsels? That's exactly what I've done.
Tears ran down my cheeks and dripped onto my chest as I realized that I, being of the world, judged Him to be a thing of naught (through my actions). He was scourged, smitten, spat upon, and He suffered it "because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men."
I thank Him for His loving kindness and long-suffering towards me. So many times I have come back groveling at His feet, begging for forgiveness and help once again to be better. And He is always there with loving kindness and long-suffering.
Just now I was sitting here thinking, "Is it really possible for me to give up sugar?"
As I pondered that question, these words came to mind: "...the power of God unto salvation..."
I looked up that phrase in the topical guide of my scriptures, which led me to Romans 1:16, then to D&C 68:4. But I believe the Lord guided me to that scripture so that I would read verse 6:
"Wherefore be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come."
In this moment, He is speaking to me in that verse. I know it. With Him standing by me, how can I fail? I can't, unless I stop heading His voice.
Molly, please never stop hearkening to the word of the Lord, for it is "the power of God unto salvation." (D&C 68:4)

All Manner of Grain

Well, call me fickle. But I never claimed to be an expert or know-it-all. It's a journey.

Three days of low-carb was just fine, but by day 4--today--I felt starved for grains and fruit. I really couldn't stand it. I think my body NEEDED grains and fruit, because I was just fine for a few days. Then all of a sudden, all I wanted was an apple and the whole grain corn bread I made last night.

So I had some. Then I ate Tessy's leftover chili (which I made last night). Then I had a whole wheat slice of bread. It felt like water to a parched throat.

Then I got online and read about grains at grainmix.com (I have a wonderful recipe/information book from Grainmix that I love called "Cookies for Dinner"). I immediately placed an order for 2 bags of 5-grain mix (barley, brown rice, rye, millet and oat groats). I felt ravenous for whole grains, so I picked the two bags up in Orem this afternoon, followed by a trip to the bulk section of the health-food store. There I bought amaranth, spelt, quinoa, and a few other grains/seeds.

I came home, added the amaranth, spelt, and quinoa to my 5-grain mix, making it an 8-grain mix, then ground some of that with wheat to make the Chia Flax Bread on Grainmix.com. It just came out of the oven and is Oh-so-good! It's very moist and satisfying. My family loves it!

I made turkey sandwiches on that bread tonight. We ate them with apple slices. I feel so satisfied and well-fed tonight.

I think tomorrow for breakfast I will make a hot cereal with the 8-grain mix and eat it with blueberries. I also want to make some 9-grain tortillas. Yum.

We need balance. Extremes aren't good. Chalk it up to another learning experience.

I did resist sugar tonight. During an hour and a half meeting I attended there was a bowl of girl-scout cookies an arm's reach away--two of my favorite kinds! They were calling my name the whole time, and I did consider eating a couple. I'm so glad I didn't. None is better than some. I kept thinking about my wonderful grains and honey. So much better for me. They make my body happy.

Cutting Carbs

Last week was rough. Each morning I told myself I would be really good, stay away from sugar, and eat healthy. By evening I had fudged, giving in to the cravings. Every evening I told myself, "Okay, tomorrow's a new day with no mistakes in it. I'll do better tomorrow." I'd exercise, feel great, start off well, and then crash again!!

I wasn't sure what to do with myself! Here I am spouting off inspirational epistles, and certainly not walking the talk! I didn't write about it, because frankly, I was discouraged, uninspired, and feeling hypocritical.

Then my cute sister-in-law Susy came along with a bit of inspiration (sometimes the Lord saves us through other people!). Her fitness guru friend, Sherry Fernandez, had suggested to Susy that she cut carbs out for 2 weeks and see what happens. By carbs, I mean grains, sugars, starches, fruits. Basically focus on protein and veggies. I wasn't sure if I could do that. I was VERY addicted to my carbs! But Susy inspired me and I decided to jump on the bandwagon with her.

I started on Saturday and have already dropped 7.5 pounds (in 2 days)!! The best part is I feel fully satisfied on 3 meals a day and never hungry! I'm still exercising daily and I feel great! The other best part is I don't crave sugar! Or any carbs for that matter--Hallelujah!

Here are some delicious things I've eaten so far:

• egg omelet full of veggies, topped with avocado (Maho makes the BEST omelets!)
• Fajitas at Chili's--I got the trio with beef, shrimp and chicken. I ate it with guac and pico de gallo, nixed the tortillas, beans and rice. Heavenly. Yum.
• Baked Salmon with spinach salad--for the salad toss together spinach, mushrooms, green onions. Dressing: 2 T red wine vinegar, 2 T soy sauce or Bragg's, 2 T olive oil, 3 packets Stevia.
• Tuna mixed with mayo and shredded carrots over a bed of greens.
• Maho made me chicken and shrimp fajitas today for lunch and I made a pico de gallo with avocado in it to go with. Better than Chili's!!
• Limeade: squeeze 1/2 a lime into a tall glass, add 3 packets Stevia, cold water and ice.
• Fresh veggies with zucchini hummus

Does it look like I'm suffering?! Not a bit! I don't know that this is healthy to do long-term, because we need grains. And I LOVE fruit. And so much meat is probably wrong. But I really feel like this is helping break the sugar addiction. And I'm getting back down to where I was before I inhaled a truck-load of carbs. Yay.

Here are some meals I have planned:

• Roasted chicken with steamed broccoli
• Tilapia with steamed asparagus
• Beef Roast with roasted veggies (non-starchy ones, of course)
• Soup with leftover beef roast and veggies
• Pulled pork (on rolls for the fam, wrapped in lettuce or cabbage for me)
• Taco salad (nix the chips)
• Portobello Alfredo (made with cream cheese and butter) over steamed cauliflower and broccoli

Looks like a lotta good eatin' ahead. :)

Fervent Prayer to Overcome Addiction

I love my quiet time each morning with the Lord. I get up an hour before everyone else each morning so I can have that time to pray, read, write and ponder.

This morning I read Elder Ballard's talk from the last October General Conference. What an incredible talk on overcoming addiction! I've been reading the talks in order, and this is the one I was on. I needed it! If you'd like to read the whole thing, click on the link below.

classic.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1298-34,00.html

Elder Ballard said that Satan uses addiction to steal away our God-given agency. Elder Ballard then defines addiction: "to surrender to something, thus relinquishing agency and becoming dependent on some life-destroying substance or behavior."

"Lucifer knows our 'hunger' or weaknesses, and tempts us with counterfeit lures which, if taken, can cause us to be yanked from the stream of life into his unmerciful influence."

There is hope.

"Fervent Prayer is key to gaining the spiritual strength to find peace and overcome an addictive craving." Elder Ballard then explains HOW to pray:
1. Thank Him
2. Express sincere faith in Him
3. Ask Him for the strength to overcome
4. Set aside all pride
5. Turn your life and your heart to Him
6. Ask to be filled with the power of Christ's pure love

"You may do this many times, but I testify to you that your body, mind and spirit can be transformed, cleansed, and made whole, and you will be freed." (Italics added)

He didn't just say, "you might be freed." He said "you WILL be freed."

Today was a good day. We had Maho's siblings and their families over for dinner. I made dessert, and somehow they all brought dessert! We had SO MUCH dessert! Moon Pie, german chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookies, and ice cream! But guess what? I didn't have a single taste! I didn't even feel real tempted! It was amazing.

This morning I prayed just exactly how Elder Ballard said we should. Perhaps He is changing me already. I'm sure I will have to pray like that many more times. But He WILL transform my body, mind and spirit! What a relief that will be.

"Lord, save me"

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their ^aweakness. I ^bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my ^cgrace is sufficient for all men that ^dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make ^eweak things become strong unto them." Ether 12:27

That's one of my very favorite scriptures. Today I'm really leaning on it, because yesterday I took a humbling tumble.

Just when you think you've got everything under control, just when you're feeling so strong, just when you know you'll never go back to stupid old habits, because why would you?.....

You do. Stupid. That was me yesterday. Yes, I took a pretty severe tumble. What happened? All I wanted was SUGAR. I wanted chocolatey, chewy, ooey-gooey, yummy.... It was all I could think about. I was trying to resist.

I even took Tessy to McDonald's for lunch, ordered myself a grilled chicken salad and water. I didn't even put the dressing on because I read "corn syrup" in the list of ingredients (I went and asked for salsa instead. Guess what? Even their salsa has corn syrup! Why McDonald's??? I really hate that!).

My weakness took over when I asked Tessy if she'd like to go to Walmart and get a treat. All I could think about was their bakery goodies. So off we went. I bought a box of chocolate doughnuts, a piece of chocolate cake, and a package of pumpkin chocolate chunk cookies. I also bought a sack of Roma tomatoes. I had to laugh when we got up to pay and Tessy, in her LOUD voice said, "Wow! We didn't get much healthy stuff!!" The skinny lady in front of me turned and looked as she finished paying and picked up her sack of fruits and veggies. I was embarrassed. But still wanted my fix.

Well, the rest of the day is history. I won't subject you to all the morbid details. My point in sharing this is that we are human. Just because we think we've got something all figured out doesn't mean we won't slip and fall ever again.

It's a good thing that the Savior doesn't have a time limit on His return policy. We can return again and again, over and over, repent and plead with him to exchange our hearts for a new one, a more humble one, a more trusting and diligent one, and stronger one, a more disciplined one, and a changed one. That is what He does for us. His love and grace do not expire. There's no "3rd strike and you're out." Satan would have us believe that if we mess up too many times, we don't deserve Christ's love, His understanding or His forgiveness. That's one of his lies.

"And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.

But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was ^aafraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little ^afaith, wherefore didst thou ^bdoubt?" Matthew 14:29-31

Peter was an apostle. He must have been a very faithful, strong capable person. But even he forgot to call upon the Lord in a moment of weakness (lack of faith). However, as soon as he did, Jesus immediately stretched forth his hand and saved Peter from succumbing entirely.

My prayer is that I can have fewer "What the heck..." moments, and a few more "Lord, save me" moments. I believe that He will save us from our weaknesses if we humble ourselves and trust Him to do so.

Sweet Seduction/ Sugar Addiction Video

I found Tricia Greaves several years ago. She has some very sound advice to emotional eaters, which most people are. In this video she talks about sugar and sugar addiction. She knows what she's talking about because she has overcome her own sugar addiction and keeps it at bay daily. She inspires me.

http://www.viddler.com/explore/healyourhunger/videos/5/

We Need God's Love to Be Happy

And to Overcome Addiction

Millions of people throughout the world are starving. And although physical hunger is a world wide problem, that is not the type of hunger I am referring to. I’m talking about spiritual hunger. We don’t have to look very far to find these hungry, or unsatisfied, individuals….perhaps in our own homes; perhaps in our own souls.

We all seek happiness everyday. We are supposed to be happy. Heavenly Father has said, “…men are that they might have joy.” (2 Nephi 2:25) Why is it, then, that so many of us are unhappy, dissatisfied, empty? Could it be that we are seeking happiness in the wrong places? Or that we have forgotten what real joy is?

A dear friend once shared with me her experience wherein the Lord taught her how she needed to fill her emptiness. She and her husband had always had a strong, healthy relationship. But she had been feeling empty inside, and thought she needed more of his attention and affection. He usually came home from work for lunch. So this particular day, in an attempt to fill her void with his love and adoration, she made his favorite lunch. She carefully set an elegant table for two, and eagerly primped and groomed to look her best before he arrived home.

He was very pleased by the delicious meal, the beautifully set table, and a beautiful wife with whom to eat his lunch. They enjoyed their lunch together. Then he thanked her for the lovely meal, gave her a kiss, and headed back to work.

She was severely disappointed. She still felt empty. Why hadn’t he made her happy? Why hadn’t she received the love that she was so desperately seeking? Her initial thought was to fill the void with temporary happiness—chocolate!

Instead she knelt in prayer. She told her Heavenly Father how disappointed she was that her husband was not giving her the love that she so desperately hungered for. She asked Heavenly Father what more she could do. Then the warmth of the Spirit overcame her as these words filled her mind and heart, “It is my love you need. Let me fill you with my love.”

She realized that it was not her husband’s responsibility to fill the void she had inside. Rather it was her responsibility to turn to her Heavenly Father for the love that He is both willing and eager to give, if we would but receive.

What are we seeking to fill the void? Quick, easy happiness? Television? Food? Work? Or any number of addictions? Are those things filling us with joy? Where is true joy and happiness to be found?

In Lehi’s vision he “beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.”(1 Nephi 8:10)

“And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.” (1 Nephi 8:12)

What does the fruit in Lehi’s dream represent? The Love of God. Therefore the Love of God is desirable to make one happy. The Love of God filled Lehi’s soul with exceedingly great joy, and he knew that the Love of God was desirable above all other fruit.

This has become a very favorite scipture:
Draw ^bnear unto me and I will draw near unto you; ^cseek me diligently and ye shall ^dfind me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. (Doctrine and Covenants 88:63)

By drawing near unto God, we feel His love, and no longer have a need to fill a void, because we are filled with His love. It takes daily effort, but the time investment is far outweighed by the blessings received.

And behold, and lo, I am ^bwith the faithful always. Even so. Amen. (Doctrine and Covenants 62:9)

Over the hump

I was right. Day 3 (yesterday) was hard. I really wanted to eat a leftover ebleskiever that I made for Breakfast. I immediately thought of this blog, and that I couldn't give in and eat an ebleskiever cause they have sugar in them (not to mention white flour). I resisted and am so happy I did. I felt munchie all morning. I ended up eating lots of my homemade granola, which seemed to satisfy the craving.

Today for breakfast Maho made the yummiest omelet I have ever eaten in my life! It was packed with veggies and had a little chopped lunch meat, topped with avocado. YUM!

This evening I cut up a plateful of fresh veggies: radishes, jicama, bell pepper, carrots, cauliflower, and mushrooms, and ate them with homemade hummus. Ooooh, so yummy.

Supermom Superfood Granola

Okay, Dads and kids can eat this too and feel pretty amazing! The best part is, they have no idea how amazingly good it is for them, they just know how amazing it tastes and crunches!

Supermom Superfood Granola

Mix together:
6 cups rolled oats (old fashioned style)
1 cup walnuts, chopped
1 cup almonds, chopped
1 cup buckwheat
1 cup flaxseeds
1 cup quinoa (optional)
1/2 cup chia seeds (optional)
1 1/2 cups shredded unsweetened coconut

Mix together:
1 3/4 cup honey
3/4 cup oil (I use canola or olive, but nut oils would be really yummy)
1 1/2 t sea salt
1 1/2 t cinnamon
1 T vanilla extract

Combine the 2 mixtures. Spread some on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 for about 15 minutes, stirring once. I like to cover my counter top with paper bags that I've cut apart so they lay flat. When the granola is done, I dump it out on the paper bag-lined counter top to cool, and repeat with the rest of the granola.
My favorite way to eat this is with some Greek yogurt sweetened with a packet of Stevia, a sprinkle of cinnamon, fresh or frozen blueberries, and granola on top. Heavenly.

Sweet Beet Salad Dressing

Today for lunch I had the yummiest salad. Let's face it: the dressing is what makes the salad really yummy! This dressing is one Mom bought for me a health food grocery store salad bar. I figured out how to make it and have made it several times since. It's delish, and almost as pretty as it is yummy.

Sweet Beet Salad Dressing

4 small beets (golf ball size) or 1 really big beet
1/2 cup agave nectar
1/4 cup olive oil
2 T cider vinegar
3/4 t sea salt

Blend all in blender and enjoy! Today I at it over spring greens (from Costco--my fav), sliced mushrooms, green onion, sunflower seeds, and topped it all with some crab meat.
I think I might eat the exact same thing for dinner tonight!!

Day 2 Boundaries are Liberating

Cutting processed sugar completely out of my life may seem, to some, very restrictive. Maybe even impossible. I'm going to share the story that Elder Mervyn Arnold told in the last October General Conference, written by his wife:

“When I was 15 years old, I often felt that there were too many rules and commandments. I wasn’t sure that a normal, fun-loving teenager could enjoy life with so many restrictions. Furthermore, the many hours spent working on my father’s ranch were seriously dipping into my time with my friends.

“This particular summer, one of my jobs was to ensure that the cows grazing on the mountain pasture did not break through the fence and get into the wheat field. A cow grazing on the growing wheat can bloat, causing suffocation and death. One cow in particular was always trying to stick her head through the fence. One morning, as I was riding my horse along the fence line checking on the cattle, I found that the cow had broken through the fence and gotten into the wheat field. To my dismay, I realized that she had been eating wheat for quite some time because she was already bloated and looked much like a balloon. I thought, ‘You stupid cow! That fence was there to protect you, yet you broke through it and you have eaten so much wheat that your life is in danger.’

“I raced back to the farmhouse to get my dad. However, when we returned, I found her lying dead on the ground. I was saddened by the loss of that cow. We had provided her with a beautiful mountain pasture to graze in and a fence to keep her away from the dangerous wheat, yet she foolishly broke through the fence and caused her own death.

“As I thought about the role of the fence, I realized that it was a protection, just as the commandments and my parents’ rules were a protection. The commandments and rules were for my own good. I realized that obedience to the commandments could save me from physical and spiritual death. That enlightenment was a pivotal point in my life.”

Many times I have thought about giving up sugar, but felt like it was too restrictive. "I wasn’t sure that a normal, fun-loving [wife and mother of 5] could enjoy life with such a restriction." I loooooooove to eat sugary treats! It's fun to enjoy a treat together! But looking back through my journal the other day, I realized that sugar has done nothing to help me in my life. Conversely it has been a huge stumbling block for me. It's been the source of a lot of pain and regret.

Some may say, "Geeeez, it's not like you're doing drugs or drinking alcohol." But that's why sugar's been such a great tool for Satan to use on me. He knows he can't get me with drugs or alcohol. But it's very clear to me that if he can keep me living a mediocre life--feeling lousy, tired and grumpy a lot of the time--he will have succeeded; because I would be kept from doing God's work to the level that I need to be. Not only that, I would be "miserable like unto [Satan] himself." (2 Nephi 2:27)

"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." 2 Nephi 2:27

Addiction is captivity. Being trapped in a fat body is captivity. I choose liberty and life through Jesus Christ. He will help me. What a comfort that is.

Day 1

It was a good day. But the first day of going sugar-free is usually a bit euphoric and happy. It's day 3 that gets me. For now, though, I'm going to bask in the happiness of today. I gave up sugar, and didn't eat a bit of it today! Yay me! I'm feeling so much better!
Yesterday I could have gassed Bin Laden right out of whatever cave he's hiding in. I was sooooo gassy from all the junk (sugar, mostly) I'd eaten the day before. Gassy McGasserson. None of that today. I'm sure my family and house guests are glad. :)

For dinner tonight I made two gorgeous loaves of french bread (to go with our vegetable soup), of which I did not partake. Yay me!
To clarify, I will eat fruit and natural sweeteners. Here is a list of natural sweeteners that I will eat:
raw honey
agave nectar
stevia
pure maple syrup
brown rice syrup

Evaporated Cane juice is still up in the air. Isn't that just sugar? Or brown sugar at best? Hmmm, I don't know. Better do some checking.

For lunch I ate our Sunday dinner leftovers of roasted vegetables. This is sooooooo yummy, that I'm gonna share the recipe:

Roasted Veggies

1 yam, peeled and chopped
1-2 zucchini, sliced 1/2" thick
1 red onion, cut into wedges
1 eggplant peeled and chopped
1-2 bell peppers, cut in chunks
2-4 red or yukon gold potatoes, cubed

Place veggies in 9x13" baking pan. Drizzle with mixture:
1/4 cup olive oil
3 cloves garlic, pressed or minced
2 T balsamic vinegar
Rosemary and thyme, fresh or dried
Salt and pepper to taste

Bake at 475 degrees for at least an hour. Stir occasionally. YUUUUUM!! The yams and eggplant are my favorite!

Beginning

Courage. Hope. Faith. Love. Humility. These are all things I'm seeking in overcoming my sugar addiction. In my struggle with food and sugar-addiction, I've realized that God helps us become better as we work to overcome our weaknesses.
I've also realized that I've been given this struggle so that I'd have a reason to turn to Him; to humble myself and learn to rely on Him.
I plan to write each day in hopes of helping myself stay on track, and at the same time sharing with others my journey, inspiration and insights, new-found information, recipes, etc. Perhaps we can help each other. There is strength in numbers. I'm banking on that.